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Archive for March, 2011

I still have the same old problem which continues for two years and two months. Soon we will have to go to doctors again … Otherwise we have no chance! Hopefully one day everything will be fine ! I hope we will be happy one day! But for now it’s getting harder with every day. Summers are particularly harder – everywhere I look I see mothers with push chairs. Only our turn never comes and I’m 26 now… I’m constantly falling into depression, and that I’m writing here now is a sure sign of a new one … How not to think about it! I want to have a real family, not just me and him

I’m listening to music now, eating a waffle… and thoroughly enjoying my rest day. Last week was very stressful. Duties, tests, projects, health problems…, oh you name it. Thanks God finally everything came into place.

And the weather has been lovely today and charges me with positive thoughts. I woke up earlier today (getting up early became a habit), had a cup of aromatic coffee and went for a walk with a friend. I’m please with myself and the fact that I slowly achieve my goals. I’m happy that the man beside me understands and supports me. In brief, I feel happy today.

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Spring is coming. That was my favorite season. Before I used to feel special, loved and happy especially in spring. Now I feel empty inside. Since when? I don’t remember? Must have been nearly a year now. I was like a chocolate box. I gave everything away and now I am empty inside. I feel useless, alone among the people. I smile to hide my pain. I laugh when I want to cry. I’m like the circus clowns who make others laugh when their soul is full of tears. I wonder is there a hope for me or it’s already too late.

When I was 16 I survived a horrible ordeal. I was in comma for nearly a week. Since that time I have the gift to create unusual things. Some people call them art. I never wonder what I should create next. My ideas come when I am sleeping. I see my next creation in a dream after which I can’t fall asleep again and always go to my basement where I have some working tools. I’ve always kept my creations hidden in the basement till the day my mother found them and convinced me to show them to the world. The first item I sold was named kokopelli metal wall decor though it wasn’t the idea behind it.

A woman always feels when a third person interferes in her love life. I agreed to forgive but not with the hope to be happy again with that man. I allowed him to stay in my life because I didn’t want to suffer. I wanted to know him better, to find his weak points, things that could alienated me from him .. I let him stay because I didn’t want to be alone, at least not until I find my true friends, or at least those who will fill the emptiness inside me .. I let him stay because I wanted to show him what he lost and that nothing will ever be the same.

What about western metal decor in the game room? I want to use the chance when my boys are staying for the weekend in their grandparents’ house and surprise them with newly decorated game room. Both of them are huge fans of western movies and I know they will be absolutely thrilled with when they see their new game room. They deserve it as they are excellent students and never cause us major problems. To keep them away from the streets we have equipped for them this absolutely fabulous game room where they spent most of their free time.

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I remember I was still a child when I figured out that there was no point of losing your nerves. That never leads to anything good. If you master your anger you will come out as a winner of many disputes and quarrels as opposed to situations when you let your emotions get out of control. I was so young when I realized that there were situations in which the best thing I could do was to keep quiet. Unfortunately it is easier said than done. I usually try to count to 10 before I say or do something. It usually works.

not achieved so easily and advice to count to 10 before you say or do something, often helps. Learn to recognize the warning signs or growing in you anger.
Your face reddened it? I started talking about higher? Try to relax before it’s too late.

Image by Rickser via Flickr

Two years ago I spent ten days at the most beautiful, and modern Spa resort in Europe – Karlovi Vari. Ten days I treat not only my body but my soul as well, and enjoy the beautiful scenery. The mountains are extremely beautiful. I had the opportunity to contemplate for hours, looking at the huge, majestic trees. I was looking at them and my soul was filled with joy and sadness at the same time because I knew at some point I had to go home. There’s nothing greater than feeling one with nature. My experience was completed by the wonderful people I met there. For the numerous time I realized that there was nothing accidental in life. I met the right people at the right place and felt on top of the world.

I had a terrible day today. Everything started while I was still in bed. I had a very bad dream, I better call it a nightmare. I woke up at about 4am and couldn’t fall asleep again, and I had slept only 4 hours. A large cup of coffee wasn’t enough to wake me up. I went to work with the gloomiest possible mood, on top of everything the weather was gloomy too. Then I had to endure an-hour speech by my boss. I hardly managed to look concentrated and interested. The only thing that cheered me up was that I had just bought a new cell phone.

Since a long time long I’ve been interested in the Arab countries and wished to visit some of them. Last October when my husband said we are going to Tunis I thought I was dreaming and couldn’t believe it until the plane left the ground. I was so excited, it was just wonderful. I can’t describe it. the desert was so fascinating and spell-bounding. we had so may beautiful and romantic moments that I do not know whether it will have the chance to experience what I experienced there under the Tunisian sun. I felt desired and loved, my husband kept whispering beautiful words to me. I’m so grateful to him for these unforgettable days.