ceryjazy.com

Archive for May, 2011

Image via Wikipedia

I have great news. My boyfriend proposed yesterday. Nothing during the day spoke of his intentions. I thought it would be a usual night out except for the fact that wanted to celebrate together his promotion. That was not a lie. My cousin also works for the same company and I knew from her that he was expected to be promoted soon. So he took me to this fine Italian restaurant with beautiful metal wall art Tuscan pieces everywhere. We were joking and laughing when suddenly he got very serious and kneed down. At first I thought he wasn’t feeling well…..but then out of a sudden he proposed.

I’ve had five serious relationships in this life of mine and I can safely assume I did not single-handedly ruin four of them. I didn’t cheat, lie, oppress or any of that stuff and I am on good terms with all those four women. Unfortunately I am messing up the fifth one, the one I care about most of all! I have never loved in this way and it’s ripping me apart to know I am ruining it. My girl and I, we were harmonious together at first, I didn’t mind seeing her former lovers, she didn’t mind mine and we talked freely about everything. I changed that on my own, making her doubt me, because I wanted a little jealousy there in the mixture. Plus, I had kissed another girl and it was a terrible mistake, so I had a reason to be honest with her and win a bit more attention and it turned into a disaster and I see how all disintegrates before me!

Image via Wikipedia

I am generally a fan of cracked.com, claiming to be America’s only humor and video site since 1958. They have pretty interesting articles, though I have noticed a few controversies between different articles. That’s only natural, because different people write about them, but I am starting to doubt the credentials of those writing the materials. Usually, there are links all over the text to prove the point of the writer. However, I read an obscene article about inappropriate US presidents and the top of the list was reserved for FDR! How can that be? If you ask me, he is one of our best presidents till this day! Amazingly enough, the point of the writer was that Franklin Delano Roosevelt was in a wheel-chair. He sounded hysterical about it and all the comment below were against his opinion. What an idiot this writer is!

Related articles

• Franklin Delano Roosevelt (zoffice.wordpress.com)

My girl Miley has the biggest makeup collection I have ever seen! That’s only natural, she attended a course for professional makeup artists and now she has a certificate and it showed Miley is really into the makeup business. Right now she works at a few spots- for a magazine, doing the makeup of models for the photoshoots, and in night-time Miley goes to pamper with colors and imagination a few exotic dancers in a club. I swear, seven of us gathered in the apartment just to stare in owe of her collection of makeup cosmetics! There were creams, eyeliners, brushes and colors I had never imagined! She had over twenty colors of eyeliner and just as many mascaras. I am afraid to ask her to do my makeup sometime when I am going out, it’s her job, I don’t want to freeload.

Image via Wikipedia

The nature of a true cobra is malicious and fearful at the same time. But Mandy is more of the first and a lot less of the latter. She’s my little pretty cobra. Her mouth is the most poisonous thing this side of the Rocky Mountains. Mandy spits and Mandy swears and Mandy will bite your softest parts so you can feel more pain. She’s just like that and she’ll hurt you the minute she feels threatened. I have no idea how I’ve spent and year of my life with her, it’s a mystery to everybody. I know the answer of course- I was desperate and I desperately believed I loved her. I was ready to die for that cause, the pretend-to-love cause. I so much wanted to believe it! I started doubting does she hurt me so much to try and chase me away. Oh, she finally chased me away for sure, but I am not sure that’s what she wanted.

I was the girl with the worst taste in high-school, I admit it. It is a terrible stain on my reputation, but at the time I was very depressed and I couldn’t bear looking appealing for some reason, though I was bullied for looking raggedy. It took me time to believe in my taste, but I decided to make the change. I even ordered a nude metal wall sculpture, thinking this is very bold. Well, actually it is very well accepted and it is not scandalous at all. However, I did achieve recognition for my taste. I changed a lot in my clothing style too and I only feel good about it. But I think the buying of the beautiful artwork was the real breakthrough. Everybody was quite impressed with its make and the coloring. I had underestimated the power of art as a way to establish a position in society and secure it.

Sadly, my quiet and content marriage turned into a series of scandals. You know, I was sometimes bored before, but all this special type of action is too much for me. My man is deranged and it’s not the midlife crisis, he’s just mad. He’s work is fine, though I admit it was a bit better before he started quarreling with me on a daily basis. I haven’t cheated on him. I don’t know of him cheating on me. The whole thing is a mystery. Did he suddenly get discontent? Why would that happen? Our life isn’t stale, per say, and we’re both healthy and accomplished in our workplaces. Does he want to ruin everything, because it is too good? That sounds silly, I am ashamed I am thinking of it, but what else is left? Having no explanation for the storm of your marriage is pretty disgusting as a feeling.

I spend my morning briefly loving him, then he quickly does something idiotic and sets me off. I don’t need too much to blow up lately. Something’s terribly wrong with our chemistry. I can never let go of things as easily as I did before and I am certain it is not the pressure from work. But anyway, it passes off sooner or later and when we meet again in the evening or at noon I love him with all my heart. I am so torn about how much time to spend with him, because I have an inner urge to grasp every moment, yet I sometimes hate him for nagging how I work when we are together. So many details need to be ironed out before we move in together I am not in a hurry to do it at all. I hate him, I love him. It’s like that all day long, all week long and it’s getting worse by the hour.

I’ve always found it strange how some people who proven above average in intelligence believe in superstitions and stuff like astrology. The two things don’t fit together. If you believe in them you either lack the inner strength to believe you guide your life, or you haven’t looked into things too deeply. Well, of course there are different types of “intelligent” too. There are people who are amazing in life and can’t do simple calculus and lack basic knowledge of the world. It’s hard to explain this. But what you can’t explain is how do distant planets influence the behavior and character of absolutely every person on Earth born in a diapason of time and space! I see no direct or indirect relation! I don’t see any way to justify this “science” and prove it right, I can’t rely on the “it just works” axiom.

I feel it is my duty to know my interior. I know it all by heart, because I’ve been watching it for too many years. I wanted to change some of the furniture, even though it’s not worn out. Fortunately then Mandy gave me the idea to decorate my interior instead. Maybe it was missing completeness and beautiful details. Well, I actually bought a great big sunshine metal sculpture, instead of a small detail and I am very happy with it. I am thinking about buying a few other small metal sculptures of the sun for the other rooms. I am only afraid I may end up with an abundance of suns. But you know, the important thing is it worked. I no longer want to throw away my perfectly good furniture. I think it ties very well with the sculpture and the wall and everything. So I think the problem was I needed something new.